Finally worked up the nerve to tell mom that I might need to stay an extra semester at Winthrop. Her first reaction was to accuse me of lying about my original graduation date. I explained that I hadn’t lied and that it was still possible for me to graduate spring of next year,but I could only do so by taking Sculpture 4 at the same time as Sculpture 5 and Jewelry/Metals 4 at the same time as Jewelry/Metals 5 and my advisor strongly recommended against it because my portfolio would greatly suffer from 1) the amount of studios I would have to take in a single semester and 2) the fact that I wouldn’t be able to build on my skills from Sculp/JM 4 because I would be taking the fifth year of the class at the same time where I would be expected to already know skills I hadn’t learned yet.
I explained all of this to her as calmly as I could and told her it would only be one extra semester. Her instant response was “Hell no. I don’t care if your portfolio is absolute shit. You’re graduating on time- if you can call graduating at your age “on time”. This is getting out of hand. You’re going to get an internship this summer at a local theater and your portfolio isn’t going to mean anything anyway.”
"Do you really think anyone is going to hire me if my portfolio is shit? If all my work is poorly made and lacks development, no one will be interested in me!"
"The only thing they’re going to care about is if you can weld!"
"That’s not true at all!"
"Like you would know."
"YES I WOULD BECAUSE UNLIKE YOU, I’VE BEEN GOING TO SCHOOL FOR THIS SHIT AND I KNOW WHAT PEOPLE EXPECT FROM AN ARTIST AND IF I CAN’T PROVE THAT I HAVE THOSE SKILLS THROUGH MY PORTFOLIO I WILL NEVER GET A JOB."
"Well that’s just the risk you took when you changed your major, isn’t it?"
I’m so pissed off right now, you have no idea. Does she honestly think I want to spend MORE time and money at school and dig myself even deeper into debt just for fun? She’s not even paying for anything- all my loans are in my name. This has NO effect on her whatsoever and, to be honest, regardless what I decide to do there’s nothing she can do about it. Trust me, I’m not happy about the prospect of another semester either, but I would rather take the time to do things properly than to try and rush through just so I can be greeted by a world with no interest in giving me a job.
I’m so fucking sick of this bullshit. I’m tired of my parents constantly making fun of me for still being in school when neither of them have even attempted college. I’m tired of being the butt of all the jokes when they talk to other family members or their friends at work. I’m tired of constantly being reminded that in their eyes I am a failure because I didn’t stick with my original major. I’m tired of being called “indecisive” and having all my opinions blown off because I’m just going to “change my mind later”. This isn’t what I wanted out of life either, and I’m tired of being fucking reminded that no matter what I do it won’t be good enough, fast enough, or profitable enough and I should have just been a goddamn pharmacist.